Be Here Now is the title of Ram Dass' classic book on yoga and Indian spirituality and philosophy. So what does that have to do with Mexico? Not a lot, but one of the lessons Ram Dass conveys is that of being present, whatever the circumstance, wherever you are.
What Does Being Present in Mexico Look Like?
While one could write an entire book on this subject, there are 3 simple takeaways that I would like to offer the visitor or immigrant to Mexico:
Understand and respect Mexico's cultural formalities/niceties
Speak at least the bare minimum of Spanish necessary to communicate these formalities/niceties
Don't behave as if the rules don't apply to you because of your wealth and first-world privilege
Understand and respect Mexico's cultural formalities/niceties
Unlike much of the U.S. and Canada, where formalities have largely given way to minimal effort and maximal practicality, Mexico retains traditions of behavior and etiquette that are ingrained in social interactions, whether between acquaintances or strangers. Some of the most important of these are the exchanges of greetings before getting to the practical point of any interaction. In Mexico, this means saying "good morning", "good afternoon" and "good evening" when beginning a verbal interaction, or to acknowledge another's presence - such as when entering a store and acknowledging the proprietor or sales person, or even when passing someone on the street.
This scenario happens way too frequently: an English speaker from the U.S. or Canada walks into a store and the first thing they say is "how much is this?"; or walks into a restaurant and immediately asks "do you have a table"? Understandably, this is actually what the person wants to know. And understandably, this is considered normal in much of the U.S. and Canada. But it is abnormal in Mexico. More than that, it is rude in Mexico. And who wants to be rude and abnormal? I know that it is no one's intention to be rude - and in fact, many Mexicans in tourist areas understand this too. They've become accustomed to foreign mannerisms and they are quite accommodating of them. But when we are in Mexico, we can do a little bit better than constantly asking Mexicans to accommodate our lack of cultural knowledge. Especially now that we no longer lack this knowledge!
So please remember to say those "good mornings" and "good afternoons" when first engaging with someone. And don't forget to say "please" and "thank you". These tiny structural elements of human interaction go a long way toward creating a harmonious bridge between your local culture and that of Mexico. And your experience of Mexico will improve immensely the more you observe and respect these niceties.
Speak at least the bare minimum of Spanish necessary to communicate these formalities/niceties
So now we all know to greet people with "good morning/afternoon/evening", and to say "please" when making requests and inquiries, and to say "thank you" when those requests and inquiries are responded to. But let's take it just a bit further - let's take it to the point of saying these things in the language that the person you are interacting with speaks.
First, I want to make it clear that I am not saying that if you are just visiting Mexico, it is your duty to learn Spanish. It would be an unbearable burden to have to spend months learning a new language every time you chose to travel to a destination where people speak a different language than you.
Instead, I am saying that learning just a few key phrases is important when visiting 1 a place where the people speak a different language than you. It demonstrates that you respect the visited culture enough to have put in the minimal effort to learn key words and phrases.
And minimal it is. There are 6 phrases that you can learn with almost no effort, but that will go a long way to demonstrate to the Mexican people who you will meet that you are making an effort to be sensitive to their social norms and language. Those phrases are:
Please - Por favor
Thank you - Gracias
Good morning: Buenos días
Good afternoon: Buenas tardes
Good evening: Buenas noches
Hello: Hola
Often you will hear Mexicans say: Hola, buenos días. It is common in Mexico to combine "hello" and "good morning/afternoon/evening" as a more informal style of greeting.
As for when to use morning vs. afternoon vs. evening, different parts of Mexico have different customary times of day to switch from one to the other. In general though, you can use buenos días until noon; buenas tardes from noon to sunset; and buenas noches after sunset.
If you are interested in resources for learning Spanish, please see my article here.
Don't behave as if the rules don't apply to you because of your wealth and first-world privilege
OK, this is a bit more open-ended and maybe it even sounds accusatory. And I get it: sometimes breaking the rules is no big deal. Sometimes breaking the law is a moral imperative. I've never let a few rules get between me and doing what I believe is right. I'm sure you feel the same way. Basically all I want to convey here is this: if you want to break the rules, fine. Whatever. But do it because it is what a Mexican would do too, and not because your status as a tourist or immigrant or race makes you feel as though you are above the rules.
Here's an example that you've probably witnessed many times if you've ever visited a touristy beach destination in Mexico: foreign visitors walking around the street drinking alcohol, or being obviously intoxicated in public. Consuming alcohol on public streets is illegal in Mexico. Open containers of alcohol in public places is illegal in Mexico. Public drunkenness is illegal in Mexico. Yet so many tourists completely disregard these seemingly obvious illegal activities, believing instead that: hey, it's Mexico - I can do whatever I want. No you can't. And when you do, you risk being fined and/or jailed; and worse, you help to paint a portrait of tourists in the minds of their hosts as entitled and disrespectful.
Think about it: would you want a bunch of tourists coming to your town and staggering around sloshing beer and margaritas in your streets, in front of your children? No, of course not. Is it a stretch to think that Mexicans also don't want that? No, of course not.
And to be clear, I'm talking here about being "in public". In your all-inclusive resort or in a bar or restaurant - of course you can wander about while consuming alcohol. Even if you're sitting at a street side taco stand, it is often ok to drink alcohol. If the proprietors tell you you can consume alcohol, go for it! Just keep it contained to the right places.
Climbing Down Off My High Horse
It can be a delicate balance between coming off as helpful vs. preachy. My intention here, of course, is to be helpful. And I know that there are people from the U.S. and Canada who already practice these little behaviors I've discussed, and then some. There are immigrants whose integration into Mexican society and social norms far exceeds my own. I hope that this comes off more as a reminder for some, and an introduction to others, that finding small ways to become more integrated and present with a culture is a win for everyone.
If you live in a place where the primary language is different from yours, or if you visit it for an extended period and/or visit regularly - quite a common scenario in Mexico where people from the colder parts of the U.S. and Canada often visit for the same 3-5 months every year - then it really does become more imperative that you learn as much Spanish as possible. ↩︎
Testing I can type, good. Appearing in the box like it should and therefore can say for sure that living in Mexico has made me a better person. Living here has helped me accept differences and to be more mindful. Many/most people are friendly have good intentions to offer, especially if you're willing to learn the language, which by the way, opens up other ways of thinking, ways of expressing, ways of being. Interesting how language and culture moves the brain.
In case you might be interested Mike, here's an article I wrote a couple of years ago about Mexico, recently updated to say 12 years in Mexico instead of 9.
https://victordavid.com/writing/how-to-survive-the-suicide-lane
All the best. I look forward to reading more. You've got a splendid way of capturing the spirit!